con·flu·ence
känˌflo͞oəns
noun
the junction of two rivers, especially rivers of approximately equal width."here at the confluence of the Laramie and North Platte Rivers"
synonyms: convergence, meeting, junction
"the confluence of the Rhine and the Mosel"
an act or process of merging.
"a major confluence of the world's financial markets"
The world can feel like an odd place sometimes.
Grating. Bone on bone.
And then, just as quickly, barriers lift and all flows with such ease giving me pause to wonder, did I imagine it? did I create it?
Which of course I did.
And I forget.
Every. Single. Time.
And I vow never to forget again.
To remember. "Yes. You have the power. The answer lies with you."
All the while knowing, aggravatingly, irritatingly knowing, I'll move down this path again.
And again.
With my husband's words ringing in my ears, "Why CAN'T it just be about making? It doesn't have to be about more. Why are you making this so difficult?" after many, many conversations and then Stephanie saying, "If you've been avoiding something for a long, long time? Why is it still on your To Do list?" ... indeed, why is this freaking thing still on my To Do list?
I tentatively put it down.
And the weight just ... melted away.
And my very soul, breathed deeply.
And the little voice said, "Yessssssssss."
Interpretations as children lead to beliefs as adults.
Expectations ... looking for freedom.
Wholeheartedness depends on our sense of freedom.
We expect people to show up when we show up.
The most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave to it neither power nor time.”
― Mary Oliver, Upstream: Selected Essays
